How to be a Super Woman: Meet Motherfunker!

1. Hi! Tell us a bit about yourself
I'm a home-educating mama to four boys, aged 2, 5, 8, and 9 and my real name is Paula Cleary. A few years ago I started ranting on home ed forums and people just really took to it, saying they loved how I expressed myself and to keep ranting! Some folks asked to use my musings on their websites and so I progressed to writing articles, some of which have featured in EOS magazine, amongst other places. I do love a good rant, so have now taken up blogging, after thinking I wouldn't be techie enough to do it for several years. Now I realise how easy it is, I wish I'd started sooner! 

Education Outside School Magazine

Just recently I started Doula training, since I obsessively read earthy birthy books and get a kick out of the whole trip of bringing life into the world. I have loved all my births and pregnancies and supported friends through theirs, so this feels like a great thing to do! I live in Cambridgeshire with my husband Pete, our kids, and our crazy, fluffy, bearded collie called Martha. I'm very outnumbered being the only human female in the house, so I borrow my friend's daughters as often as posssible to balance things out and keep me sane!


2. Do you have a 'grand plan'? Do you think this has changed at all over the years?
The plan has always been to wait till the kids have their wits about them enough to go travelling. I don't fancy having a two year old stropping their way round the world with us, and running off all the time etc etc! So when it is a sane and safe enough time to go, we'll up and see the world a bit with them. There are so many places to see... Poland where my mum's family are from, all of Europe, and particularly Italy and Greece (we are crazy for greek legends in this household), Egypt, Morocco where we have some lovely family posse, Kenya to visit the family of a little boy we sponsor through PLAN, the States where we have a bunch of family dotted around... so many places! We will probably have to do it on a shoestring so that will be a challenge!  On a personal level I would be very keen to visit a variety of birth centres around the world including a centre in Bali I would love to go and volunteer at. I figure that if I can learn from beyond the little world of my own experiences and those within this culture, I will be a really kick-ass Doula in my 40's and thereafter! 


But plans can change, and the kids/we may need something different then. We shall see as things unfold who needs to be where, and at what time...


3. What gets you up in the morning?
Being jumped on by our 2 year old. Then Pete usually gets up first (I am a bit of a dragon if I get up first) and makes coffee. Until that point I am a little grumbly and S-L-L-O-O-W. I'm not a jump outta bed kinda gal. I need to be poked and prodded and jumped on and dragged!


4. Run us through a typical kind of day
Get jumped on. Hear an audiobook being played very loudly in our oldest boys' room - usually the voice of Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter (for the millionth time). Fumble and fudge for clothes, breakfast stuff etc... Come to after about 1/2 hour of being awake!!! We might have a plan for the day or not. If we are going out for the day somewhere, full-scale pandemonium ensues - searching for shoes, beakers, nappies, socks that match, socks that don't have holes in, clothes that don't look or smell feral (boys are stinky little beggars!) - a whole bunch of going out for the day stuff. Usually by this point I need a stiff drink and a lie down. How you schooling mamas do it every day I have no idea! Hats off to you. The kids then sit in the car for about 20 minutes while I look for everything else I forgot to pack. 

Home-edding: What do they do all day?

Basically I am pretty scatty and disorganised but hey, could you think straight with four crazy kiddos firing questions at you left right and centre when you're trying to get out the house? We might meet up with friends at a park, or forest, museum, sports centre or at their house. It might be just our family and one other, it might be a smallish gathering, it might be a full-blown home ed convention! It might be something ad-hoc or organised weeks in advance. The most families we will meet up with at any one time during the week is usually about 15 or so, except for the odd really big event. Otherwise we do stuff at home - cook, garden, play games, read books, listen to audio, dance, do crafts, make things, do workbooks, watch some educational programmes/play pc games, all sorts. Or it may be a boring day with loads of errands to do.


5. When you experience a setback how do you pick yourself back up again?
I reflect. Maybe sulk a little. I ask for help or different perspectives, and talking it out helps. And when I'm 'over it' I just try to learn from my mistake or try to be more patient or whatever is going to be required to push on past that hurdle and move onwards and upwards. Sometimes doing nothing and letting things play themselves out is all I can do.


6. Who or what inspires you the most?
Strong characters inspire me. Folks who break the mold and do things their way. Different people inspire me at different times. It is sometimes those very close to me, or others in my life who are overcoming difficulties, or it may be more well known people, certain authors or musicians or thinkers. TV celebrity culture doesn't really inspire me. I think everyone has the potential to be inspiring. I actually wrote an article on homeschoolingideas.blog about inspiring people, you can read it here.


7. We all have bad days when we doubt our abilities and ourselves. How do you get through yours?
I stew. I feel the full force of it. I doubt myself, and this starts to snowball - the doubt mentally projects and creeps into my thinking on all sorts of things, situations, etc. I start to feel despair and it becomes a wider and wider issue, until I have reached the point of lamenting for all of humanity! You know, the whole "Oh the human race is so stupid, we'll screw it up and and ruin the planet and everthing will be bleak and horrible" line of thinking where everything seems doomed and pointless. My fears spiral and grow to bursting point. And my husband is the one who brings me back, who talks me down from that place. I spew out all my frustrations and fears and doubts and he questions me on each point in isolation.  I feel better breaking it all down, and by talking we disentangle that big ball of worry. I realise that I am only responsible for some of the things I have been worrying about. That some things are easier to fix than I had thought. That some things are beyond my control, so I need to let them go. That I am not crazy, just trying too hard to do too many things at once. Or spreading my energy too thinly. And after a good cry and lots of hugging, I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and I can move forward again, a little freer and lighter than before!


8. What do you feel are your greatest achievements and why?
I'm really proud of my relationship with my husband. We brought it back from the edge, and have something really beautiful because of that. We have four lovely children that we feel very close to. They drive us nuts but we love 'em like crazy. We work hard to create a happy home, a welcoming home with an ethos of love, of caring for others, and learning and living in freedom. It's not easy and some days are very hard, but I am super proud of what we are doing, living out our dreams, and giving others a helping hand wherever we can.


9. Tell us what you think constitutes a "Super Woman" and list 3 key ingredients for success.
I think a "Super Woman" is one who can rise above the selfish and destructive actions of others and forgive her own too. A Super Woman gets out of her own way, gets over her baggage and leaves it behind to be who she would like to be, to be who she dares to be. She challenges herself and takes responsibility for her own self-worth. I think a superwoman is someone who tries to bring others closer to their dreams and seeks to help them move beyond the painful things that hold them back or keep them 'enslaved'.


10. Final words of wisdom?
Get over youself. Forgive everyone. Love yourself. Love everyone. Follow your dreams and passions. Visualise yourself succeeding. Proceed towards your goals. Accept there will be some set-backs. Get over them. Make things happen, don't wait for things to fall in your lap. Hold onto those you treasure with both hands and handle them with great care and love. Accept that you can't be good at everything simultaneously, that you can't please everyone in your life simultaneously, that you have a finite amount of energy. Rotate your care and attention a little rather than spreading yourself too thinly - you will simply burn out in the process otherwise. Keep a smile on your face, your feet on the ground, your head in the clouds, and help your fellow woman and man be the best they can be.... helping each other to be happy is what being  'super' is really about, don't ya reckon?


Where you came from or where you are now really needn't hold you back from achieving your goals. Don't let yourself be defined by your grief or sorrows, by the negative, by the unjust or misfortunate things that have happened in your life. Doing so, is in a way, a bigger tragedy than whatever misfortune struck you in the first place - to STAY stuck, to waste your life on hate, sadness and self-pity. I say these things because I have trodden that path, and really did waste a lot of time being defined by my own tragedy and personal grief. Transform your hurts into positives, turn hatred into helpfulness and love, and live your life to the full!!!




You can find Motherfunker over on her blog, Feet on the Ground and Head in the Clouds.


Do you know someone who fits the bill of Super Woman? Even yourself - don't be shy! If you would like to take part or recommend a friend, please send a message with the details to me at giveanearthly at gmail dot com.

How to be a Super Woman: Meet MJ from Wander Wonder Discover...

1. Tell us about yourself
Hello!! I'm MJ :). I'm a momma, a wife, an introvert with a love for learning. I'm a wanna be writer working hard to find some sensibility in the variability that life throws our way. I stay home and unschool my 2 dark-haired, dark-eyed sun babies (8 and 6), who are the greatest teachers that I have ever known. The man I married I've known since I was 16. I knew then there was something very special about him. Yet, I never predicted we would be here, 24 years later, happy and turning grey together. I am the luckiest woman I know. 


We live an active, unschooled life in central Florida with our 2 rats Remy and Spud. None of us started out as unschoolers, and that is a large part of our life unfolding and unfurling. The floodgates opened as we turned our backs on traditional and mainstream thinking. Everything changed, how we parented, how we perceived our children, how we perceived ourselves, our reconciliation and understanding of how we were raised, and our understanding of learning and how our children learned. I cannot even begin to tell you how profoundly our lives have changed for the better. Profoundly. We have only just begun to reap the benefits of the life we have decided to lead and that is what I love to share on my blog. So with peaceful parenting in one pocket, and unschooling or life learning in the other, we have set out to give our children a life filled with unlimited opportunity.  


2. Do you have a grand plan?
Grand plans have changed many times over the years. But our current plan is to sell our house and move out of Florida. We seek a place that feeds us spiritually as well as fills our need for diversity and cultural richness. We love the green, the trees, the forests, the mountains, but as unschoolers we know we want to be able to feed our minds as well as our souls. As far as personal growth plans, I just want to keep creating, keep writing, and keep doing the things that keep my passion fires alive.  

3. What gets you up in the morning?
I have a wonderful life to wake up to. I have everything I need and all that I could have ever wanted, so waking up is joy every morning. I am not blinded to how my life could have been, and I have not forgotten where I have been. The terrible storms I have traversed in my life were hell, and I don't ever want to visit that place of despair again.  Self hatred, shame, anger, depression, addiction, I have reconciled all those things with hours of self- healing, on my own and with help. For anyone ever having to deal with any of these things, either individually or all at once, there is light on the other side. And it's true what they say, "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger." Much stronger. But the journey never ends with the conquering of one personal demon. Where there is one, there are more to follow. This is when purpose through people, passion, and creativity come in to play. By filling my life with these things, there is little room for despair. 


4. What does a typical day look like?
Soy latte first, always, then blogging and writing, which I love. After that, my children and I plan our day. I make suggestions, and we talk about ideas. They tell me what it is they would like to do and then we do our best to compromise and make things happen. I strive to find the interesting and joyful things that we can learn from. Many days we are out of the home all day, other days we never leave home. 


When we are home, we are reading or listening to books, trying a new game, playing with puzzles, practicing multiplication, writing in journals, practicing our letters, practicing our reading, cooking, doodling with pens, playing computer games, exploring through a microscope, aiming at an archery target, learning about animals, swimming in the pool, trying to catch bugs, hunting for fossils, looking up history facts, watching Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, How It's Made or Brain Pop.  When we go out, we are visiting a factory, farm or nature reserve, going to the beach, going to summer camp, going to co-ops, going to plays or performances, going on a road trip, going to museums, visiting friends, going to the library or bookstore, going to the science centre or herpatarium. My own needs are important in our days as well. I make time to create whether it's to knit, sew, crochet, draw/doodle, art journal, and I read.  To ignore my own needs would be a big mistake and a poor representation to my children on importance of fulfilling our passions. So everyday is about making it work for all of us. We each give a little, we each take a little. The point is we all are getting something, and we all are helping each other get that something. We are a team.


5. When you experience a setback how do you pick yourself back up again?
The biggest setbacks I experience are usually emotional. Either I didn't get enough sleep, or didn't eat well, or my hormones are loopy.  On these days I have a shorter fuse and know I have to be gentler with myself and my kids. I make sure not to plan too much on those days and let the kids know that I am feeling "off". I might stay away from the computer too, as too much screen time tends to make me feel worse than better. Then I try to focus on my kids. No matter how bad of a day I am having, my children usually can help me snap out of it. When I look at life through their eyes, everything is much simpler. I am guilty of overanalysing, and over inflating issues. The kids bring me back down to earth and remind me that by staying in the present moment, things are never as heavy as they seem.  


6.  Who or what inspires you the most?
My children inspire me and my husband inspires me, of course. But I think the greatest source of inspiration I receive lately are moms. Mothers of all ages, stages and places.  Every mother I know works hard everyday at giving their family the best that they can give.  


I am so grateful to all the women who have committed to sharing something that they have learned on their journey in parent and person hood. Without their experiences most of us would be pretty lonely out here.

7. We all have bad days when we doubt ourselves and our abilities. How do you get through yours?
I have learned a lot about ego in the past several years. Ego is that voice inside that tells me that I have to do and be more, that I have to receive attention or be recognised, or that I have to be perfect. Ego, many times is that voice of doubt and fear that says "What are you doing?? You can't do that, you don't know what you are doing!" Sure I have doubts about what I put out there. These are the thoughts that push me in a corner and make me feel small. Yet I have learned that I have a choice in whether I listen to these thoughts or not. There has to come a point when I ask myself when I will be enough. I can decide today that I am exactly how I was meant to be, imperfect perfect in every form.  Or I can succumb to the self defeating thoughts leading to a self-fulfilling prophesy. There is so much freedom in accepting who we are now, exactly as we are, and loving every inch of ourselves inside and out. Once I accepted this about myself, I have no desire to be anyone else but me, and only do the best that I can do. Ambition takes on new meaning when this happens. It no longer means having to be better or achieve more than anyone else, it just means doing better for myself and for sheer passion and joy of it.


8.What do you feel are your greatest achievements and why?
My greatest achievements are overcoming the demons I mentioned earlier which included an eating disorder and exercise addiction. Everyday I thank the universe for my life and for the gifts that my struggles have given me. I have not looked back and I regret nothing. My marriage is my second greatest achievement. My husband is my rock and my best friend. There is no other person out there that gets me like he gets me. He will own my heart forever. Third, my relationship with my children. This was a hard fought battle that involved looking at my own ingrained beliefs that I had developed from my own childhood. Our children are mirrors that reflect our own imbedded hurts from our past. I never imagined my life with children to be like it is now. They are my best friends, my inspiration, my joy. They have taught me how to be a better mom and a better person. They, too, will own my heart forever. 


9. Tell us what you think constitutes a "Super Woman" and list 3 key ingredients for success.
A Super Woman is I think, quite opposite from that woman flying in a cape. There is no bravado, no cheering crowd, no recognition or key to the city. Super women are the grunts in the trenches doing what needs to be done to keep things going. Most super women I know are moms working hard everyday to be better for their children and their families. They are modest yet strong, humble yet unyielding, knowing what's exactly right for their own family. Super women aren't afraid to make mistakes. They ask for help, knowing that most successful people always had help. Super woman accept the bad with the good, knowing everything has it's own time. Super women never lose sight of that little girl inside, remembering that she has needs too. Super woman are ever changing and ever evolving, knowing that stagnation is not an option. They walk a delicate line between seeking joy for themselves and everyone they love, yet still remembering to savour the precious minutes that go by.


If I had to pick ingredients to super woman success, they would be these:

• Humility 
• Kindness/Compassion
• Authenticity
• Strength of character/Integrity

One last thought...


In a world that is constantly trying to separate each of us from the other, either by the way we look, by what we have or don’t have, by what we can or can’t do, I say look for the things that make us more alike. We all want the same things, we all need the same things - love, compassion, kindness, and connection.  


Thanks so much Zoe!!!




Thank you MJ! You can find MJ over on her blog, Wander Wonder Discover.

Do you know someone who fits the bill of Super Woman? Even yourself - don't be shy! If you would like to take part or recommend a friend, please send a message with the details to me at giveanearthly at gmail dot com.

How to be a Super Woman: Meet Lucy from Dreaming Aloud...

1. Hi! Tell us a bit about yourself
My name is Lucy and I am a home-based mama to 3 home-birthed children ages 5, 3 and 1. My husband and I both work from home in a little pink house on the south coast of Ireland.


I am a freelance writer and contributing editor at my very favourite magazine in the world: JUNO. A soulful, natural family magazine which has been at the centre of my learning to be a parent.


I have blogged at Dreaming Aloud since November 2010, after years of resisting my husband's suggestion to “get a blog!”.  It brings so much goodness to my life: inspiring me to live even bigger, connecting me with wonderful like-minded people and giving me a public outlet for my more personal writing. I also have a baking blog Queen of Puddings, because I love cake.


I am a trained teacher and have taught a lot of different subjects for money and love: English, drama, creative writing, pregnancy yoga, craft, antenatal classes... I have also been involved in a lot of community development projects: helping to start a playgroup, a school, running an arts festival, leading a women's group and mother blessings.


I love to read: my books are my second babies and I have a massive collection of other people's wisdom lining my walls. I have to read, I consume ideas which feed my own life and work. I have started book reviewing professionally – what a perfect job! 

Juno: A Natural Approach to Family Life

I try to combine these myriad aspects of myself. My work and life intermingle...I am free spirited by nature and this works wonderfully for me. Everyone on both sides of my family is self employed and earn their money in creative fields too: it's in my blood I guess. I have learnt that there is another way of making a life and a living than having a job you hate, or sacrificing family and home for work. I am delighted to say that I am following my bliss and my life is very rich. 


2. Do you have a 'grand plan'? Do you think this has changed at all over the years?
Yes I have a grand plan – goodness that sounds pretentious, doesn't it, but I do! On my website I put it like this: 

“My intention is to assist in a re-visioning of our culture into one which is rich in more than material terms, one which prioritises human and ecological needs above those of institutions and the economy.” 

My passions are women's personal development and empowerment, natural birth, mothering, re-thinking education, home-based living, and fostering creativity. And so I work at these on every level. With my kids, in how I deal with people, in my writing, in my teaching, in my practical activities. I am very, very driven because I am doing what is important to me. I am being the change I want to see in the world.


The parameters have changed: my level of self-knowledge, my understanding of where my power lies, and the arrival of my children... but the vision has remained. I set out to have outside approval for my vision, I needed permission to say what I wanted to say. I wanted to be a self help writer. I wanted to be like Oprah. I wanted to lead personal transformation courses. I wanted to change the way the education system ran, to set up an intentional community, to run a cafe with lots of exciting workshops and a lending library... I am not short on dreams and ambitions!


But I have learnt that one person cannot do it all!  Life is no fun if you spread yourself TOO thin. That for me leads to exhaustion, panic attacks, migraine and depression.  But for me I have an idea, I gestate it and then I see how I can act on it: do I raise awareness, talk about it, write about it, start a project...? I am a leader not a joiner, and I have a great starting energy and enthusiasm, but am far less good at finishing stuff. This I have come to accept in myself.


As the kids arrived into my life in quick succession (I am only 30!) I have had to shift my timetable and expectations of myself. They provide so much learning for me and if it were not for them I would not have either the time, lifestyle or material, or be the person I am, to be able to write my stuff. So I keep reminding myself that they will not be young forever and not to waste these precious years. But I need my head-space and physical space and I find the constant being needed of three little kids very challenging. My writing keeps me sane. I write because I have to! I have cut right back on my community work and stopped teaching altogether...for now!


3. What gets you up in the morning?
My kids get me up – I am usually dozing breastfeeding our baby when our tropical three year old comes bounding in and lands on my head, pulling my hair and making me eff and blind my way into full consciousness. I would prefer to start the day with an hour's reading and then some meditation and yoga, followed by a blissful bath. This is for the self help authors who have no kids.


4. Run us through a typical kind of day
We dive into breakfast madness, with tantrums over how the toast is cut. I hate the hour before school: uniform, packed lunch, hurry up we're going to be late – it's not a nice way to start the day and makes we wish that we were home schooling. I always thought I was going to, but for me it is a trade off between my soul work and devoting myself to home-schooling, and my work wins out. It's not a decision I feel perfect about. 


However the walk to school, less than five minutes down a country lane, usually lifts my spirits and we see what magic nature has provided that day: cobwebs glistening with dew, dandelions or blackberries in the hedgerows. 


When I get home, we have self-directed time for an hour or so: the 3-year-old has her morning C Beebies fix, the baby trashes the joint and I catch up on my world: emails, blog etc whilst stopping to dole out snacks, breastfeed, stop fights.  If I do this now it sets me up for the day and then I can really give myself to them rather than feeling resentful. At some point the 3-year-old drifts away from the TV and starts playing by herself and I feel a lot less guilty!

Lucy commits random acts of beauty!

Then it's craft time. Or we go for a walk and explore usually up to the Cookery School gardens next door, often finding stuff for our nature table. 


At least three times a week we will bake a cake or cookies together. Cooking with my kids is really important. I love it, they love it and we love eating what we make.


Home for lunch, a quick check of email and then collect our son from school. A snack and we decide what to do for the afternoon. I feel he misses out on creative stuff and outside stuff by being in the school system so this is what we really focus on at home.


Then it's Scooby Doo O clock, so I can have half an hour to check emails and do anything for my editorial role before the end of office hours, before it’s time to make supper. 


Bedtime is 7pm, but often it'll be 8.30 before they're all settled.  When they’re in bed tucked up it’s my time! Most evenings are spent working: writing blog posts, articles, book reviews,  facebooking with friends. I try and make sure I have a couple of nights a week off. I try REALLY hard to connect with my husband too, but he respects the fact that getting to do my thing in the evening a happy mama makes. Because he is home based we get to chat throughout the day.


I usually go to bed around 10.30 – I need my sleep – unfortunately I have had 3 babies who slept like angels until they were 3 months old, then woke 5-15 times a night, every night until they were 2. 


Talking about my day in a linear manner doesn't really give you a sense of it – I am always multi-tasking: I will be planning an article whilst putting the baby to sleep or reading on the toilet, or blogging and watching TV. Rarely do I get a chance to do anything uninterrupted, so I use my time to the full. My life is woven of multiple strands, on multiple levels, and each is a crucial part of the whole tapestry. If I leave one part untouched for too long a hole emerges in the fabric of my life. I find it mostly manageable because it is inner directed and home based. When I was doing a lot of stuff outside of the house: trying to settle baby to bed before running out to meetings, having to be at certain places at a certain time, I found that really stressful, and more like trying to keep plates spinning on sticks. I prefer weaving!


5. When you experience a setback how do you pick yourself back up again?
I just make sure I don't get stuck in it too long. I have a couple of family members who totally lost their way, hopes, talents, ambitions and sections of their lives by getting stuck in self doubt and depression. It is such a waste. You have to take responsibility, at the first moment that you are capable, to own your thoughts, move forward, to choose to act, to find the positive. You are responsible for you: what kind of day are you going to make it? You cannot control everything that happens, but you can totally effect how you respond, the pattern of your thoughts. I have a tendency to moan and whinge. Ina May Gaskin is clear in her book Spiritual Midwifery that to have a positive birth you have to be positive: give love, focus on the positive, not whining about what's not right. Another help to me is Louise L Hay's You Can Heal Your Life:  All is well in my World. Every time something shakes me and I feel unsettled, I come back to this mantra.


6. Who or what inspires you the most?
A lot of people say I am like my grandmother, my namesake. I never met her but wish I had. She was a legend in her own right: a strong mother figure, a dynamic and influential woman who made her mark on all who met her and on her community. 35 years after her death people still speak of her with awe.


But also Ina May Gaskin, Pam England and others in the birth world. Creative people, people who live their truth big and publicly, who push for change. People of vision and courage who live their dreams.



7. We all have bad days when we doubt ourselves and our abilities. How do you get through yours?
I am thoroughly grumpy and miserable and no fun to be around. Usually it is one of my dear friends who helps get me out, or my husband, he is very good at handling me when I am low.


I try to get out, out of the house, out of my head – go for a walk, to see a friend, to physically change my mental framework. If I can do this rather than wallow in the hypnotic nature of mental suffering, then I can let go of it and move on to a new thought pattern.


8. What do you feel are your greatest achievements and why?
In the words of one good friend, "I'm amazed, bearing in mind what your life has been like, how well adjusted you are”. This is not inevitable. I have worked very hard, consistently and deeply on personal development/ spiritual stuff to off-load the negative stuff from my past, work on close relationships and make myself a better person. 


But to the outside world, I think my greatest achievements are yet to come...


9. Tell us what you think constitutes a "Super Woman" and list 3 key ingredients for success
Actually, on reflection, trying to be a Super Woman is precisely my problem! And whilst it's nice to be recognised for what we do and achieve, how we live is far more important. Although most things I do come from my own inner drive, and are often reflective and spiritual, I spend far more time than is healthy in doing, rather than being. This comes at a cost: to my mindfulness, to domestic order and to my own health.

I think the most important thing any person can do is to know themselves and try to find balance amongst the various strands of themselves. And for a woman to know her cycles and her energy levels and work to these rather than against herself. This is absolutely what I try to do. But most often I fail on the balance front – I do too much and then burn out. In our culture this is seen as a good thing... but really it's a form of ego driven insanity.

My 3 key ingredients for success are:

• Know yourself, follow your heart, and listen to your intuition 
• Take responsibility for your own actions and potential –don't waste your energy on blame or excuses – if you want to do something do it and if you don't then don't, but stop moaning!
• If you believe it you can achieve it – work hard on visualising with clarity.

10. Final words of wisdom?

“Do what you can with what you have where you are...” 

Theodore Roosevelt

Every time I feel stuck or stuff isn't working or I don't know where to start I come back to this. It reminds us to bring the dream back down to earth, to ground its roots in our reality not off in Never Land.


You can find Lucy over on her website, Dreaming Aloud blog and Queen of Puddings blog.

Do you know someone who fits the bill of Super Woman? Even yourself - don't be shy! If you would like to take part or recommend a friend, please send a message with the details to me at giveanearthly at gmail dot com.

How to be a Super Woman: Meet Pixie Mama!

1. Hi! Tell us a bit about yourself.
I’m Polly. I’m a full time mama to 3 little pixie girls who are home educated. I also run a blog – Pixie Mama – and an Etsy Shop – Pixie Mama Crafts. I’m a compulsive crafter, an avid thrifter, and a homebody. I can usually be found doing 20 things at once!


2. Do you have a 'grand plan'? Do you think this has changed at all over the years?
Not really. Even as a child, I never had any great ambitions. I kind of muddled my way through my teenage years, with no idea where I was heading. By some miracle I came out the other side (relatively) unscathed, but still with no idea where I wanted my life to go. I met my husband a month shy of my 21st birthday, and within 6 months, we were married, pregnant and living in our own house!! Since then I’ve let life happen as it will... 2 more children came my way, and after a difficult start to last year, I found myself in a whole new world of blogging and crafting. I felt as though I’d found my niche. I made plans for a shop of my own – and I’ve actually realised that dream!

There are still no grand plans, what will be will be, and I’ve learnt to roll with the punches!


3. What gets you up in the morning?
Well, more often than not it’s my 2 year old shouting ‘Polly’ at me and trying to open my eyelids for me!! Last year was a tough time for me personally. I hit rock bottom, and it was a long climb back up. Along the way I learnt the importance of ‘self care’. So another thing that gets me up in the morning is exercise! I run around 5/6k pretty much every single day. Exercise makes me feel fantastic, and is the best way to start my days.


4. Run us through a typical kind of day

Visit Polly's Etsy Shop for original artwork and handicrafts

Well, if I’m lucky then it doesn’t start too early! Wake up time is usually around 7am for the littlest one. We’ll head downstairs, for some milk (her) and tea (me). Then she’ll snuggle in my bed with her dad and some books while I do some running. After a run and a shower, the bigger two girls are usually just waking up, so we’ll all head down for some breakfast and maybe some cartoons. Then the kiddos will get dressed and often go for a bounce on the trampoline or  a run in the woods while I catch up on emails, etsy convos, blog comments etc.

Mid-morning is usually ‘school'-work’ time. We don’t do very much formal work, but right now my middle daughter is learning to read and write, so will do some practice on those, and the eldest has some maths and English grammar work to do!

If I have any errands to run (groceries, post office, etc.) then I’ll often pop out around midday, the littlest still needs a nap, but in the house she’s reluctant to go as she doesn’t want to miss out on anything! Plus, left too late, her nap would mean I’d never get her to bed 

Home for lunch, then our afternoons depend on the weather. If it’s nice sometimes the girls will play outside, meaning I can catch up on some blogging, or some crafting. Or else we’ll head out to the local park, or the river for some fun and games.

If it’s not such good weather (which is often here in North Wales) then we’ll dig all the arts and crafts stuff out. Nothing better than glue and a pile of glitter on a grotty day! Or we’ll do some project work – often history based, the girls love anything old!

If I’m lucky the girls will be in a non-fighting mood, so they’ll play together and I can grab an hour to do some of my work (or the housework!) before it’s time to make dinner. Now the evenings are lighter, we usually go for a walk after dinner. There’s a stream not far from our house, the girls take their scooters and spend a happy hour burning off some energy! Then it’s home, pj’s on, and supper time. They usually go to bed around 8pm on a ‘normal’ day – though the bigger two often read for a while.

When they’re all tucked up it’s my time!!! Often I’ll spend my evenings catching up on work. Writing blog posts, listing Etsy things, or making new things for the shop. I try and make sure I have a couple of nights a week of no work. Then I’ll watch a movie, soak in the bath or just curl up with a book!

I usually go to bed around half 10/11ish – I need my sleep – and I learnt that getting a decent amount of sleep every night makes a huge difference to my mood!!! If I’m super lucky, everyone will sleep all night long – but that doesn’t happen that often.


5. When you experience a setback how do you pick yourself back up again?
I remind myself how far I’ve come in the last year, and in my lifetime. I’ve overcome so many things already, that I know that I am strong enough. I’ve taught myself to get back up after a fall, brush myself off, and keep going. Belief in myself, that I can do it and I am good enough, and remembering that I have overcome so many things in the past that I thought would be the end of me.


6. Who or what inspires you the most?
My girls. They are my reason for living, and my reason for overcoming all the difficulties I have faced. They are the reason I have fought so hard this last year to beat my depression, and to turn my life around. I want them to grow up believing that they can do anything they put their hearts to, that no-one is better than them, that the world is a wonderful place full of fun and adventures.


7. We all have bad days when we doubt ourselves and our abilities. How do you get through yours?
I’ve had more than my fair share of bad days over the years. And I’ve finally accepted that I’m never going to be rid of them completely. So, instead I’ve learnt how to deal with them. Sometimes, when the doubts start to niggle at me, and I feel like giving up, it’s because I’m worn out. I push myself and push myself, and sometimes I have to stop. If the doubts come and I’m exhausted, then I STOP. Stop everything that isn't essential (i.e.. feeding the girls) and just rest for a couple of days. We can escape negativity if we give ourselves the permission to do so. Acknowledge the lesson and then reset.

Other than that, the best tool I have is positive self talk. If that little voice starts up that I’m not good enough, asking me why I’m bothering, then I consciously repeat to myself over and over something positive – maybe, I AM GOOD ENOUGH, or I AM JUST AS GOOD AS EVERYONE ELSE, you get the idea – swapping the negative for a positive. Repeated over and over and it does start to sink in! Plus I think that by not allowing myself to dwell on those negative thoughts helps. Some times I’ll write them down, then write a list of why that thought isn’t true.

I keep a gratitude journal too. Every single day I write down 3 things from that day that I am grateful for. It forces me to focus on the good things in my life instead of the negative. It’s all too easy to focus on the bad things, and to dwell on them, and let them become truth.

We can choose to let go of our stories of our pasts, if the thoughts don’t serve you well, then drop them.

And the most important thing to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Stop, relax and BREATHE.


8. What do you feel are your greatest achievements and why?
My girls (obviously), but most of all, overcoming the difficult start to life. My life up until I was 20 was incredibly traumatic, and I could so easily live out my life playing the ‘victim’ role. BUT I have managed to put all of that behind me, and turn my life right around. 9 years ago I couldn’t see any point in continuing living. There was no way forward and I didn’t want to carry on. Today I live a wonderful life, I have 3 beautiful daughters, I get to spend my days with them and running my own business.

Proving those who told me I was worthless and of no use wrong is in itself my greatest achievement.


9. Tell us what you think constitutes a "Super Woman" and list 3 key ingredients for success.
I think a “Super Woman” is someone who refuses to be beaten down by life. Someone who fights for what she believes in. Someone who doesn’t let the bad things rule her life. Someone who rights her own story and doesn’t care what others think. Someone who is strong and knows that she is good enough. Someone who most of all enjoys life.

My 3 key ingredients for success are:

• A positive attitude
• The ability to live in the moment
• Being able to find joy in simple things

10. Final words of wisdom?

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can find Polly over on her Blog, Facebook, Twitter & Etsy.

Do you know someone who fits the bill of Super Woman? Even yourself - don't be shy! If you would like to take part or recommend a friend, please send a message with the details to me at giveanearthly at gmail dot com.