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| No Space for Thought |
Internally it is - inside I'm zinging with ideas and positive goodness (mostly), but it's not making it out into the world somehow. I'm crabby with the kids too. Whilst inside I'm dying to do all kinds of fun things with them, when it comes to it I end up being Majorly Crabby Mum of the year (possibly decade if I'm honest) and that is NOT good.
I think I know the problem though it doesn't make me feel any better. Despite our change in circumstances very much for the better, and our more comfortable lives, I'm still SO tired I feel I could just sleep all day long. I'm eating pretty healthily, the kids are sleeping well - still early risers but I'm getting a good solid block of sleep in the night - and I'm taking vitamins and supplements and exercising and getting out and about.... and yet my brain feels like a ship lost at sea on a still, foggy day. I can't think properly, I can't focus, I forget things at the drop of a hat and I tire so easily. It is all so VERY frustrating.
I remember feeling like this whilst pregnant but it's a year since my monkey girl was born and I should be feeling better by now, right?
Are women left baby-brained for life or is there an exit somewhere I missed due to the fog and the gazillion and one distractions that life with kids bring? Will it get better or am I to be a zombie forever more?
Is there a cure?! Any wonderful wise women out there to show me the way home.... to myself...?
If I'd know the way I'd show you...
ReplyDeleteI can show you my new roadmap though. As I broke down at my GP last week (who then suggested I suffer from PND, and offered medication which I declined...) I decided I needed to get my life in order. One thing is to treat the fact I have not been well in myself with herbal remedies. I am on StJohnsworth now and made my own tea (lemon balm, lime flowers, motherworth and some others). The other thing I really need is focus. So monday/ tuesday when I have all three kids at home I am not allowed to write or do other me-stuff. Plenty of outdoor, hopefully sunshine, crafts and activities like baking etc. I need to find the fun of being a mum back, as I do love it, just have been to manic to realise. The other three days when the eldest two go to pre-school part day I get some me-time. I need to prioritise what I do though, as I tend to start up all these projects like a crazy woman and then get all stressed about not having the time and energy to do it all. I need to focus on what is most important, and accept that for the next few years I simply cannot do it all..
ReplyDelete(Sorry, I am using your blog for putting my thoughts together, but it does help! I hope it can help you, you need a similar plan. Prioritise, get clear what really matters for you and your family and find the time to do those things!)
It does get better but in waves. Right now I'm in a trough, youngest 4 waking alot, lack of focus, extreme grumpiness... but we've just moved house and are trying to build a new one. Fair enough. Today I barely got by and am off to bed very soon 8pm. BUT last week, they slept better, but more crucially I looked after myself. After a long time without a break, I went for a swim (alone) shopped (briefly) and sat in a cafe and wrote, my God it felt like heaven, and then, if that weren't enough I went to a evening circle I belong to. Well you can guess how good the next day was.
ReplyDeleteLong winded way of saying, don't worry, a year old isn't very old at all, you've got alot of catching up sleep and nurturing to do, take time for yourself..those little simple things make a big difference.
This too shall pass...