Balancing Act

I am struggling with balance very much this month. No, the boat isn't listing (any more than usual) and I've not been having toddling problems (except when particularly tired!); but I have been finding it difficult to focus on exactly what seems the right choice. Just one example is our financial dependence. To work or not to work? Having been on maternity leave since September, I feel less and less inclined to go back to work full time as it would mean neither Matt nor I would see much of our young kids - so what then is the point in having them? As it is, Matt is out of the house about 13 hours a day (though he is currently on a 4 day week), and Harris travels with him to the childminder and Granny's. It's crazy! But we couldn't live without the money, not for the moment - we still both have debts to pay off for one thing. Some days I wonder (especially when I feel like a rubbish mum anyway) whether I should find employment while Matt stays at home. But then I know I'd hate that too. 


On my dreamy days I think, well what do we need money for? Let's both give up work and just do something really positive, and step as lightly as we can upon this earth. But those pesky debts get in the way. I really admire those people who have learnt to live as self-sufficiently as possible, and while I dream of it, I often wonder whether I could truly live that way. As it is I feel as if I'm always fighting against the need for bought-in goods, and I say that after a year without making many purchases at all (other than our boat!).


I'd love to hear from anyone who has truly found their balance - and what you do on those days when you find yourself a bit off-kilter.