Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Baby Steps: Back into the Fray

Lift one foot, then the other. Add a smug smile ;)
Having just spent the last 36 hours or so intermittently dozing, sleeping, breastfeeding, attempting to entertain mini-me (everyone says she's just like me), dozing and sleeping some more, reading, cleaning up baby sick, breastfeeding some more... I am now emerging like a startled rabbit back into the real world again. Or attempting to, might be a better turn of phrase. In reality my brain still seems to be far off in the depths of mingled, disjointed dreams whilst my body continues onwards into the thrust of everyday life.


I'm not sure what the issue is this year; I (and the family) have been ill more times than in the last few years put together. I suppose 2 years of deprived sleep will do that on it's own, nevermind the myriad other stresses and difficulties.


When I get ill my brain often goes into overdrive during all that sleeping and dozing, so it very rarely ends up being restful sleep. The result is a feeling of bleary fractiousness and despondency where I struggle to deal with the world at large and feel the need to retreat into a dark hole for the rest of my days... The challenge is to to turn around my thoughts before they solidify and stagnate. To anyone else in my position I would say "Get out in the fresh air"; "Go see a friend"; "Do some yoga"; "Bake a tasty treat for yourself" or all of the above. But I am at heart a total hypocrite and all of those things seem as impossible to me right now as putting on a pair of running shoes and going for a jog (with or without mini-me, anyone who knows me knows I am not a runner!).


I have taken much heart today from one of my favourite blogs, Dreaming Aloud. Lucy, who I recently interviewed for the post of Super Woman, has been such an inspiration to me as a mother, creative and all-round sensitive person. Her posts on her "highly sensitive family" have really touched me this week and I hope to take a little of that candid positivity and put it to good use - for myself, for my own family, and for the little bubble that is my world, and all inside it.


One day I may break out of the bubble and spread the goodness both near and far. But for now baby steps are very much the order of the day.
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