The Big Secret and How it Affects You

"How long will it last, this peace I have found... It is all of life that I contemplate - sun, clouds, time that passes and abides. Occasionally it is also that other world, foreign now, that I left centuries ago. The modern, artificial world where man has been turned into a money-making machine to satisfy false needs, false joys." - Bernard Moitessier, The Long Way.

The Strangles, North Cornwall

In about 2 weeks' time, we will be gone from here. We will have given up our boat (the one that was meant to be our home for the next 20-30 years or more), our business (already being sold off as I type), and Father Earthly will have reduced his working hours by almost half. We are breaking with pretty much everything, in fact, in an attempt to change our lives for the better.

Fancy a boat? Have a look :)

These last 2 years or so have been so tough, and we have forgotten how to laugh properly, how to find joy in the little things. That is what we need to regain at all costs.


When we embarked on our adventures in our lovely green camper 3 1/2 years ago, it was to seek a much simpler life, a more spontaneous way of living, and quite frankly to have more fun. And by god so we did! But then our little sproglets came along and complicated things. Suddenly, even our simple way of looking at things became fraught with stumbling blocks and much weariness. Father Earthly's work and my business got in the way of enjoying our family and creating a home. Stress and anxiety and immense fatigue prevailed: this was not the way it was meant to be at all. And so something had to be done, but what...?

Our new home!

And then very suddenly, just as everything seemed to have gone dark forever, a chink of light appeared. It beckoned and wavered and lured us in. Father Earthly wasn't so sure - why should he trust this light? What if it was a hinkypunk? What was the light offering exactly? Did it have all the answers?


Gently, curiously and not a little warily we started to follow the light, to seek and know the source - Father Earthly dragging his heels a little reluctantly whilst I skipped eagerly ahead, stopping periodically to urge him on. Occasionally our path came to forks and crossroads and diversions, but on investigating these other ways, our light dimmed or was lost altogether. Once or twice, we very nearly lost our way entirely as the dark closed in on us.


Stay with me here, folks.


Today, this very moment, the light is beaming out strongly and bathing us, bright and glowing like a crisp Autumnal day. It feels good and it feels right. There are still many unanswered questions, but the most important have been satisfied. After our long darkness, I feel like a convalescent, letting the warmth and goodness seep back into my very bones.

The way things were...

There are of course some regrets and just a little bitterness. As I type I am sitting on our narrowboat (newly cleaned and tidied), the woodburner chucking out it's cheerful cosiness, and I'm surrounded by all our things, by our space. This was to be our home, and now we have to say goodbye: for financial (and practical) reasons, we can't even keep it on as an occasional outlet for adventures and hideaways. All of the work we have started, all of the special materials or pieces (such as our lovely stove!) that we chose or had planned - all seemingly wasted. That is very disheartening.


But I'm a philosopher and there's no point wallowing in the quagmire of regret. As a friend of ours likes to say "it's better to regret the things you've done than those you haven't".


And that's where you come in, dearest, most wonderful reader! Do you feel as though life has a strangle hold on you and you can't break free? Has all the light gone from your life and your mere existence is dull and grey, or worse...? Are you filled with regrets? Or dreams, passions, caged birds just waiting to be set free?


You know what to do my friends.


And if you need me, you will find me here.


xxx

Walk With Me... Into Autumn

Dressing Up

The Path

Babes

Tights

Pumpkins

Upwards

Cosying Outdoors

Tree

Hot Chocolate

10 Things You Didn't Know About My Alter Ego

1930s Simple Glamour

In another life... I find myself thinking this more and more at the moment. I feel stuck, despondent, impatient, and thoroughly fed up. I'm tired of counting my blessings - I have many, yes, but right now they are not shining brightly enough for me. The world is grey and cold and I long for some of the erstwhile technicolor glory to come back to me... a sparkling Autumn day filled with orange leaves and clear blue skies; a bracing, windswept run along the coast, sandwiched between emerald, gold and slate; an inky, snow-swelled atmosphere embracing a cluster of silhouetted houses which twinkle out messages of their inner cosiness and joy.


In another life, I am a 1930s heroine who

• Is always impeccably, yet effortlessly and simply, well dressed
• Has gorgeous, long, glossy hair which can be easily put up into a range of styles
• Sleeps in a large, comfortable bed with crisp, clean sheets and a soft, fluffy eiderdown - all of which is thoroughly aired daily (preferably in a strong mountain breeze)
• Regularly "takes tea" with her lady friends and is much admired for her baking prowess
• Secretly attends underground meetings of the intelligentsia and radicals
• Drives an Austin Ruby or a Morgan
• Despite my natural elegance, is known as a bit of a tomboy who likes to "muck in" with the boys and kids!
• Has enough energy and vitality to undertake at least 90% of her tasks, projects and dreams with vigour and see them through
• Lives modestly but well, travels extensively and as the mood takes, and can afford to be impetuous
• Is a good, loyal and generous friend, hospitable to the nth degree and can be relied on for anything

So... anyone got a time machine?

Living Life Your Way Interview

I am dead chuffed to be part of Pixie Mama's inspiring Living Life Your Way series: go read my interview over there today and find out a bit more about me :)

The Labyrinth

Source

I've been wanting to walk a labyrinth for a while; I've started to feel a little lost these last few months with so many changes happening in my life, and I felt I needed to focus on my next move. My everyday life is so chokka that I don't have the space to think clearly, other than "What needs done next?"


The irony was, I wasn't sure when I'd find the time, where I'd do it, how I'd do it… but of course, all the time I was silently asking these questions, life was providing, and today my labyrinth materialised.


The beauty of it was, I didn't even know about it until we were upon it so I had no time to prepare, to overthink. I simply entered it, laughing, with the simplest of questions in my head: "What should I do next?"


Father Earthly and baby no. 2 went left, and I went right with baby no. 1. Almost immediately we came to a dead end. Great start! I learnt later on that this path in fact does come out near the centre and was obviously designed as a quick exit (it was fenced off rather than hedged) when needed. That's so typical of my style - when I start something I jump straight in and go for the quickest, easiest route, only to find I must go back, take my time, start again and do things properly.


As I wound my way round with baby no. 1, I could hear Father Earthly calling out on his progress, chattering to the 6 1/2 month old in the sling that "they were winning". At first I felt light-hearted, jovial. This was fun. But baby no. 1 was getting upset. "Daddy!" he kept calling, a note of panic in his voice. He couldn't understand where Daddy had gone. As I kept taking wrong turns and seemed to be getting no nearer the centre I felt myself starting to panic too. My question changed to "Which way next?" and I started to feel the hedges closing in on me. Baby no. 1 was becoming quite upset. And then I found myself back at the beginning again. 


Downhearted, annoyed, I felt a failure. I so very nearly gave up, but instead turned round and re-entered, determined to win this time. Which way next? Father Earthly was now on his way out after gleefully gaining the centre. He told baby no. 2 they were going to help mummy now. Relief flooded me as we met on a corner and he led us on - I wanted to do this on my own but obviously that was not what this labyrinth was all about. I needed his help; We all went together.


He told me along the way that the trick with many of these mazes was not to take the most obvious path. So if you see a path that runs alongside the centre, that's probably the wrong one - take the outer path instead, that goes the opposite way. Ahh, I thought, that again is so like me. Yes, I follow my heart, but I also try and invoke reason. And reason very rarely has the right answer.


We entered the centre together, as a family, and my question reformed itself again to "Who do I want to be next?"


And with that I was happy. So often in life we are simply not asking the right questions. Through walking the labyrinth today I learned that I need to change my focus, lift my eyes above the horizon and view the greater picture. Who should I be next? I think I already know ;-)