10 Things You Didn't Know About My Alter Ego

1930s Simple Glamour

In another life... I find myself thinking this more and more at the moment. I feel stuck, despondent, impatient, and thoroughly fed up. I'm tired of counting my blessings - I have many, yes, but right now they are not shining brightly enough for me. The world is grey and cold and I long for some of the erstwhile technicolor glory to come back to me... a sparkling Autumn day filled with orange leaves and clear blue skies; a bracing, windswept run along the coast, sandwiched between emerald, gold and slate; an inky, snow-swelled atmosphere embracing a cluster of silhouetted houses which twinkle out messages of their inner cosiness and joy.


In another life, I am a 1930s heroine who

• Is always impeccably, yet effortlessly and simply, well dressed
• Has gorgeous, long, glossy hair which can be easily put up into a range of styles
• Sleeps in a large, comfortable bed with crisp, clean sheets and a soft, fluffy eiderdown - all of which is thoroughly aired daily (preferably in a strong mountain breeze)
• Regularly "takes tea" with her lady friends and is much admired for her baking prowess
• Secretly attends underground meetings of the intelligentsia and radicals
• Drives an Austin Ruby or a Morgan
• Despite my natural elegance, is known as a bit of a tomboy who likes to "muck in" with the boys and kids!
• Has enough energy and vitality to undertake at least 90% of her tasks, projects and dreams with vigour and see them through
• Lives modestly but well, travels extensively and as the mood takes, and can afford to be impetuous
• Is a good, loyal and generous friend, hospitable to the nth degree and can be relied on for anything

So... anyone got a time machine?

How to be a Super Woman: Meet MJ from Wander Wonder Discover...

1. Tell us about yourself
Hello!! I'm MJ :). I'm a momma, a wife, an introvert with a love for learning. I'm a wanna be writer working hard to find some sensibility in the variability that life throws our way. I stay home and unschool my 2 dark-haired, dark-eyed sun babies (8 and 6), who are the greatest teachers that I have ever known. The man I married I've known since I was 16. I knew then there was something very special about him. Yet, I never predicted we would be here, 24 years later, happy and turning grey together. I am the luckiest woman I know. 


We live an active, unschooled life in central Florida with our 2 rats Remy and Spud. None of us started out as unschoolers, and that is a large part of our life unfolding and unfurling. The floodgates opened as we turned our backs on traditional and mainstream thinking. Everything changed, how we parented, how we perceived our children, how we perceived ourselves, our reconciliation and understanding of how we were raised, and our understanding of learning and how our children learned. I cannot even begin to tell you how profoundly our lives have changed for the better. Profoundly. We have only just begun to reap the benefits of the life we have decided to lead and that is what I love to share on my blog. So with peaceful parenting in one pocket, and unschooling or life learning in the other, we have set out to give our children a life filled with unlimited opportunity.  


2. Do you have a grand plan?
Grand plans have changed many times over the years. But our current plan is to sell our house and move out of Florida. We seek a place that feeds us spiritually as well as fills our need for diversity and cultural richness. We love the green, the trees, the forests, the mountains, but as unschoolers we know we want to be able to feed our minds as well as our souls. As far as personal growth plans, I just want to keep creating, keep writing, and keep doing the things that keep my passion fires alive.  

3. What gets you up in the morning?
I have a wonderful life to wake up to. I have everything I need and all that I could have ever wanted, so waking up is joy every morning. I am not blinded to how my life could have been, and I have not forgotten where I have been. The terrible storms I have traversed in my life were hell, and I don't ever want to visit that place of despair again.  Self hatred, shame, anger, depression, addiction, I have reconciled all those things with hours of self- healing, on my own and with help. For anyone ever having to deal with any of these things, either individually or all at once, there is light on the other side. And it's true what they say, "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger." Much stronger. But the journey never ends with the conquering of one personal demon. Where there is one, there are more to follow. This is when purpose through people, passion, and creativity come in to play. By filling my life with these things, there is little room for despair. 


4. What does a typical day look like?
Soy latte first, always, then blogging and writing, which I love. After that, my children and I plan our day. I make suggestions, and we talk about ideas. They tell me what it is they would like to do and then we do our best to compromise and make things happen. I strive to find the interesting and joyful things that we can learn from. Many days we are out of the home all day, other days we never leave home. 


When we are home, we are reading or listening to books, trying a new game, playing with puzzles, practicing multiplication, writing in journals, practicing our letters, practicing our reading, cooking, doodling with pens, playing computer games, exploring through a microscope, aiming at an archery target, learning about animals, swimming in the pool, trying to catch bugs, hunting for fossils, looking up history facts, watching Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, How It's Made or Brain Pop.  When we go out, we are visiting a factory, farm or nature reserve, going to the beach, going to summer camp, going to co-ops, going to plays or performances, going on a road trip, going to museums, visiting friends, going to the library or bookstore, going to the science centre or herpatarium. My own needs are important in our days as well. I make time to create whether it's to knit, sew, crochet, draw/doodle, art journal, and I read.  To ignore my own needs would be a big mistake and a poor representation to my children on importance of fulfilling our passions. So everyday is about making it work for all of us. We each give a little, we each take a little. The point is we all are getting something, and we all are helping each other get that something. We are a team.


5. When you experience a setback how do you pick yourself back up again?
The biggest setbacks I experience are usually emotional. Either I didn't get enough sleep, or didn't eat well, or my hormones are loopy.  On these days I have a shorter fuse and know I have to be gentler with myself and my kids. I make sure not to plan too much on those days and let the kids know that I am feeling "off". I might stay away from the computer too, as too much screen time tends to make me feel worse than better. Then I try to focus on my kids. No matter how bad of a day I am having, my children usually can help me snap out of it. When I look at life through their eyes, everything is much simpler. I am guilty of overanalysing, and over inflating issues. The kids bring me back down to earth and remind me that by staying in the present moment, things are never as heavy as they seem.  


6.  Who or what inspires you the most?
My children inspire me and my husband inspires me, of course. But I think the greatest source of inspiration I receive lately are moms. Mothers of all ages, stages and places.  Every mother I know works hard everyday at giving their family the best that they can give.  


I am so grateful to all the women who have committed to sharing something that they have learned on their journey in parent and person hood. Without their experiences most of us would be pretty lonely out here.

7. We all have bad days when we doubt ourselves and our abilities. How do you get through yours?
I have learned a lot about ego in the past several years. Ego is that voice inside that tells me that I have to do and be more, that I have to receive attention or be recognised, or that I have to be perfect. Ego, many times is that voice of doubt and fear that says "What are you doing?? You can't do that, you don't know what you are doing!" Sure I have doubts about what I put out there. These are the thoughts that push me in a corner and make me feel small. Yet I have learned that I have a choice in whether I listen to these thoughts or not. There has to come a point when I ask myself when I will be enough. I can decide today that I am exactly how I was meant to be, imperfect perfect in every form.  Or I can succumb to the self defeating thoughts leading to a self-fulfilling prophesy. There is so much freedom in accepting who we are now, exactly as we are, and loving every inch of ourselves inside and out. Once I accepted this about myself, I have no desire to be anyone else but me, and only do the best that I can do. Ambition takes on new meaning when this happens. It no longer means having to be better or achieve more than anyone else, it just means doing better for myself and for sheer passion and joy of it.


8.What do you feel are your greatest achievements and why?
My greatest achievements are overcoming the demons I mentioned earlier which included an eating disorder and exercise addiction. Everyday I thank the universe for my life and for the gifts that my struggles have given me. I have not looked back and I regret nothing. My marriage is my second greatest achievement. My husband is my rock and my best friend. There is no other person out there that gets me like he gets me. He will own my heart forever. Third, my relationship with my children. This was a hard fought battle that involved looking at my own ingrained beliefs that I had developed from my own childhood. Our children are mirrors that reflect our own imbedded hurts from our past. I never imagined my life with children to be like it is now. They are my best friends, my inspiration, my joy. They have taught me how to be a better mom and a better person. They, too, will own my heart forever. 


9. Tell us what you think constitutes a "Super Woman" and list 3 key ingredients for success.
A Super Woman is I think, quite opposite from that woman flying in a cape. There is no bravado, no cheering crowd, no recognition or key to the city. Super women are the grunts in the trenches doing what needs to be done to keep things going. Most super women I know are moms working hard everyday to be better for their children and their families. They are modest yet strong, humble yet unyielding, knowing what's exactly right for their own family. Super women aren't afraid to make mistakes. They ask for help, knowing that most successful people always had help. Super woman accept the bad with the good, knowing everything has it's own time. Super women never lose sight of that little girl inside, remembering that she has needs too. Super woman are ever changing and ever evolving, knowing that stagnation is not an option. They walk a delicate line between seeking joy for themselves and everyone they love, yet still remembering to savour the precious minutes that go by.


If I had to pick ingredients to super woman success, they would be these:

• Humility 
• Kindness/Compassion
• Authenticity
• Strength of character/Integrity

One last thought...


In a world that is constantly trying to separate each of us from the other, either by the way we look, by what we have or don’t have, by what we can or can’t do, I say look for the things that make us more alike. We all want the same things, we all need the same things - love, compassion, kindness, and connection.  


Thanks so much Zoe!!!




Thank you MJ! You can find MJ over on her blog, Wander Wonder Discover.

Do you know someone who fits the bill of Super Woman? Even yourself - don't be shy! If you would like to take part or recommend a friend, please send a message with the details to me at giveanearthly at gmail dot com.

Mastering Love and Fear

Fear vs Life

I've been thinking a lot about happiness this year. Well, it's a recurring theme for us all really isn't it? Every day is evaluated by how well we think things are going for us, how lucky we are, what pitfalls have stopped us short (or temporarily holed us), what achievements we've managed despite the competition/weather/economical situation etc etc etc.


Is it me or has it all gone quiet on the "David Cameron wants to know how happy you are" front? Popping over to the Office for National Statistics site, I see that they're now in the process of evaluating all your comments and "expect to report on the findings of the debate in July 2011". Oooh, I can't wait.


Yes, you did read that right, the cynicism in my tone. Not usually noted for being so (I tend to believe cynicism is self-destructive and pointless), I can't help it in this case. I will be genuinely interested to hear the "results"; however I do believe the subject of the country's happiness, and particularly the method for gathering information on it, is not something we are exactly experts at on the whole. Quite apart from us being duly noted worldwide as "a bunch of whinging poms", there is the small matter of the questions you were asked. Sadly I can't see the questionnaire now it's closed, but I remember looking at it a few months back and seeing the same old leading questions on health, housing, economy etc etc etc. Well, you say, aren't they what's important? Well, dear reader, that's rather up to you. But my point is, that by forcing you to answer questions on such topics, they are making you feel as if they ARE important to you, whether they really are or not. 


The political satire Yes, Prime Minister, gives a wonderful sketch demonstrating how leading questions can achieve either a "yay" or a "nay" from you in the same sitting:

But at risk of encouraging mass egocentricity, if you were to forget about all our societal structures, can you make an honest and raw appraisal of your real happiness goals? Or do you struggle to think outside the confines of those structures? In his blog, the Moneyless Man Mark Boyle claims we are all "addicted to civilisation". Defining addiction in his own terms as "'any behavioural pattern that persists despite the person being aware that it is harming their physical, mental, emotional or spiritual well-being and/or is killing them'", he summarises that

"Addicts effectively keep refusing to let something much more fulfilling into their lives, probably because they no longer have a real sense of how good life could be without [their fix]."

Now I happen to know a family member who fits this bill exactly: her life revolves around the negative and what kind of sensation she can cause or glean from it, whilst at the same time bemoaning how torrid her life is. She happens to be a particularly case, but we are all guilty of it.

David Sye of Yogabeats

Similarly, on his Yogabeats blog, David Sye also speaks of 'addiction', this time to "life as an item", where 

"Western life is built around the ability and concept of controlling everything.  For we are terrified by what we cannot control, so life itself poses a real threat"

Attacking those age-old hang-ups we all succumb to ("I can't do A until X, Y and Z happens.."), Sye rightly points out that 

"Nothing NEEDS TO HAPPEN for you to remember that you are life itself, showing up (whether you like it or not!) through the little idea of who you imagine yourself to be."

Whilst I agree wholeheartedly with both takes on this essential message, Sye really nails it for me in outlining his current workshop From the Mastery of Fear to the Mastery of Love. He claims we have to learn how to:

"recognise the addiction we have to the "emergency emotions" of fear and our emotional wounds and how and why they keep repeating throughout our lives, until we learn the cognitive skills that can transform us from the mastery of fear to the mastery of love".

In other words, before we can selflessly care 100% about the planet or even how much "civilisation is killing us", most of us will need to look to ourselves first. Honestly, openly, and without preconceptions, excuses or prefabricated societal constructs.

Anyone who knows me knows I can preach till the cows come home about finding your true place in life no matter what. I annoy my friends and family daily with my evangelicism whilst struggling myself with the subject. A wise teacher I once knew said that we all study what we are most lacking in ourselves. It's so true. But nobody said the path to "happiness" was finite. The route between mastering "fear" and "love" is completely organic, flowing, elusive at times, confusing and often changeable. So nobody - no government official, no yoga master, no psychiatrist or teacher or parent or friend can TELL you where to find your own happiness. You have to go looking for it yourself.

What will you choose?

If you need guidance you won't be short of finding some on the web. Start off by checking out The Happiness Project, Blacksburg Belle and The Goddess Guidebook. But ultimately you've got to follow your own intuition. Those who lead the happiest lives (and recognise it) have found what works best for them and are always open to re-evaluating that, within certain limits. For example, whilst some days I dream of running away to join the circus and somewhat lessening my responsibilities, in my saner moments I acknowledge that such a move would only make me temporarily "happy" at best, thereafter reducing me to a life of misery and regret.


I feel that personal happiness in today's world can be best achieved through an alchemical mixture of self-control and empowerment: learn to recognise what you love and what works for you within your given limitations (see above!) but don't over-indulge (or at least not too often). And allow yourself to feel empowered, strong, capable. All too often our best efforts are belittled in one way or another - it is not a British trait to "be proud" of yourself. But proud (not gloating or domineering) you must be. You've come this far, you've achieved this much. You are you and nobody else. Of course you should be proud.


And don't think for a minute that I'm saying you should all do what you like and forget about community values and the state of the world at large. Of course I'm also appealing to your moral nature and societal values. And I'm also trusting that you will find the balance "between constructive attempts at greater self-knowledge and pointless rumination" and not go down the self-destructive path of "overthinking". 


Learn to master your fears; learn to master your loves. Learn to be you.

Make a Wish... On Being Me

Pissenlit: Illustration courtesy of PrincesseCamCam

Today I am not a good mamma. I'm feeling tired and frazzled and selfish. Father Earthly is being wonderfully patient and showing baby Earthly no. 1 how to make cookies for grandma and how to blow dandelion clocks whilst I have grumbled constantly about my maternal duties and have been neglectful to the point where I've just found baby Earthly no. 2 chewing on my HMRC employer payslip booklet.


On days like this I really struggle to like who I am. I've come a long way in terms of self-acceptance over the years but still I have days, weeks or months when I wish I was an entirely different person. My shyness - which frequently passes into the anti-social - and my lack of self confidence are traits which I would willingly wish away like the spokes from a dandelion clock.


I often find myself looking at people in the street and imagining them with a different hairstyle, a complete change of wardrobe, a change of demeanor.  It's a game which is so absorbing because as an objective outsider, you can see the endless possibilities for others. In theory I know we can be whoever we want but in practice it's never an easy task. 


I know all this and whilst I've achieved many of my dreams, aspirations, goals, I feel I still cannot change the fundamentals of who I am, and sometimes that really gets me. So, you say, I shouldn't want to change but rather accept who I am. I've tried that too but unfortunately being anti-social is not a very positive trait!


And I worry. Because with my babies I know - in the first I'm already starting to see it - that they're likely to share some of those traits, in one form or another. And my job is to guide them through life in the most positive way possible, allowing them to come to terms with their own shyness but not letting it hold them back... how can I do that if I feel I've failed in my own life?


Our children teach us so much - I'm already learning that lesson. So here's hoping that my kids will teach me to accept myself for who I am and figure out the best path for ME that will lead me to be the best I can be...

The Art of Tapas: Through Yoga, Birth and Life

Today I am acutely aware of every single muscle in my body because they all ache. After not managing to get to a yoga class (and by god there's no space on the boat to do it!) for approximately 2 months, I threw myself in at the deep end and attended a whole day workshop plus my normal ashtanga class this weekend. On top of that I've still not got back into it properly after having baby Earthly no. 2 so I am well down on my performance.


And while I know I shouldn't beat myself up about that, it's really hard not to. Not only is my stamina and general ability lowered, but I find that my post-pregnant body has changed: I now find some asanas a lot more difficult or uncomfortable. I find this strange as post-first-birth I really didn't notice much difference (other than the obvious lack of core muscles!). 


However, Richard Adamo's workshop was the perfect place for me to start. He talked of two tenets of the Eight Limbs of Yoga: Tapas - 'heat', perseverence, austerity - and Samtosa - contentment. He explained that whilst we should work hard in our practice, with 'heat', we should remain mindful and balance our desire to do our best with also being content with our own personal achievements, however small they may seem from the outside. The idea is not to feel as if we must force ourselves into the 'perfect' position, but work with our own bodies and minds to achieve what we can, and to be happy with that.


And it struck me that this was not just a yoga lesson but that these principles are applicable across the board. In particular the idea of Tapas resonated with my feelings on giving birth naturally. I have long felt in my yoga practice that what keeps me going - whether it's the 56th sun-salute of the day or sinking into a position even deeper with every breath) is a burning desire to do the best my body is capable of, regardless of the protests issuing in my mind. It was exactly the same feelings I had when giving birth. I could so easily have given into the fear, the pain, but at my core I didn't want to and I focussed instead on every moment (not the goal, for if we look to the top of a hill whilst climbing it, we feel like giving up) and every breath. And by doing that, as in a yoga posture, you achieve almost without realising. Through both births this is what I experienced. Gently forcing myself into breathing through every moment, every contraction, every inner doubt and every screaming thought of "I can't do this!" until, suddenly, I had done it, and there, being passed up between my legs, was the proof!


I feel strongly that we could use the idea of Tapas more in our everyday lives. I would love to see this kind of empowering talk being brought into antenatal sessions. Crazy idea? I don't think so. Because you know what? Giving birth is not so much about anatomy or how apart the contractions are or even how fit you are; it's about a mindset. Getting yourself into that alpha state where you are free, without external distractions, to do your animal thing. And most importantly, to believe in yourself, your body to do this. That is the bit most women (and partners!) need drilled into them. We are surrounded in our culture with negativity - about birth, about the economy, about our purpose in life - and that needs to be balanced out before we can relinquish ourselves wholly to the task in hand.


Of course it's so easy to take the principle of Tapas and use it to be hard on ourselves - or worse, to judge others. Emma Silverman, over in The Joy of Yoga, warns us that:

"The balance of contentment and effort is important in asana practice. If we force (in life and in asana) we often do more harm than good. As teachers, it's important to stay mindful of how we move our students into asana. Instead of demonstrating or cueing students to the 'ideal' or most advanced level of any given pose and then giving modifications, start gently and give advancements."

Work within your own limitations; learn to balance true effort with contentment at your own small achievements; be happy with the results. A wise lesson indeed.

How to be a Super Woman: Meet Pixie Mama!

1. Hi! Tell us a bit about yourself.
I’m Polly. I’m a full time mama to 3 little pixie girls who are home educated. I also run a blog – Pixie Mama – and an Etsy Shop – Pixie Mama Crafts. I’m a compulsive crafter, an avid thrifter, and a homebody. I can usually be found doing 20 things at once!


2. Do you have a 'grand plan'? Do you think this has changed at all over the years?
Not really. Even as a child, I never had any great ambitions. I kind of muddled my way through my teenage years, with no idea where I was heading. By some miracle I came out the other side (relatively) unscathed, but still with no idea where I wanted my life to go. I met my husband a month shy of my 21st birthday, and within 6 months, we were married, pregnant and living in our own house!! Since then I’ve let life happen as it will... 2 more children came my way, and after a difficult start to last year, I found myself in a whole new world of blogging and crafting. I felt as though I’d found my niche. I made plans for a shop of my own – and I’ve actually realised that dream!

There are still no grand plans, what will be will be, and I’ve learnt to roll with the punches!


3. What gets you up in the morning?
Well, more often than not it’s my 2 year old shouting ‘Polly’ at me and trying to open my eyelids for me!! Last year was a tough time for me personally. I hit rock bottom, and it was a long climb back up. Along the way I learnt the importance of ‘self care’. So another thing that gets me up in the morning is exercise! I run around 5/6k pretty much every single day. Exercise makes me feel fantastic, and is the best way to start my days.


4. Run us through a typical kind of day

Visit Polly's Etsy Shop for original artwork and handicrafts

Well, if I’m lucky then it doesn’t start too early! Wake up time is usually around 7am for the littlest one. We’ll head downstairs, for some milk (her) and tea (me). Then she’ll snuggle in my bed with her dad and some books while I do some running. After a run and a shower, the bigger two girls are usually just waking up, so we’ll all head down for some breakfast and maybe some cartoons. Then the kiddos will get dressed and often go for a bounce on the trampoline or  a run in the woods while I catch up on emails, etsy convos, blog comments etc.

Mid-morning is usually ‘school'-work’ time. We don’t do very much formal work, but right now my middle daughter is learning to read and write, so will do some practice on those, and the eldest has some maths and English grammar work to do!

If I have any errands to run (groceries, post office, etc.) then I’ll often pop out around midday, the littlest still needs a nap, but in the house she’s reluctant to go as she doesn’t want to miss out on anything! Plus, left too late, her nap would mean I’d never get her to bed 

Home for lunch, then our afternoons depend on the weather. If it’s nice sometimes the girls will play outside, meaning I can catch up on some blogging, or some crafting. Or else we’ll head out to the local park, or the river for some fun and games.

If it’s not such good weather (which is often here in North Wales) then we’ll dig all the arts and crafts stuff out. Nothing better than glue and a pile of glitter on a grotty day! Or we’ll do some project work – often history based, the girls love anything old!

If I’m lucky the girls will be in a non-fighting mood, so they’ll play together and I can grab an hour to do some of my work (or the housework!) before it’s time to make dinner. Now the evenings are lighter, we usually go for a walk after dinner. There’s a stream not far from our house, the girls take their scooters and spend a happy hour burning off some energy! Then it’s home, pj’s on, and supper time. They usually go to bed around 8pm on a ‘normal’ day – though the bigger two often read for a while.

When they’re all tucked up it’s my time!!! Often I’ll spend my evenings catching up on work. Writing blog posts, listing Etsy things, or making new things for the shop. I try and make sure I have a couple of nights a week of no work. Then I’ll watch a movie, soak in the bath or just curl up with a book!

I usually go to bed around half 10/11ish – I need my sleep – and I learnt that getting a decent amount of sleep every night makes a huge difference to my mood!!! If I’m super lucky, everyone will sleep all night long – but that doesn’t happen that often.


5. When you experience a setback how do you pick yourself back up again?
I remind myself how far I’ve come in the last year, and in my lifetime. I’ve overcome so many things already, that I know that I am strong enough. I’ve taught myself to get back up after a fall, brush myself off, and keep going. Belief in myself, that I can do it and I am good enough, and remembering that I have overcome so many things in the past that I thought would be the end of me.


6. Who or what inspires you the most?
My girls. They are my reason for living, and my reason for overcoming all the difficulties I have faced. They are the reason I have fought so hard this last year to beat my depression, and to turn my life around. I want them to grow up believing that they can do anything they put their hearts to, that no-one is better than them, that the world is a wonderful place full of fun and adventures.


7. We all have bad days when we doubt ourselves and our abilities. How do you get through yours?
I’ve had more than my fair share of bad days over the years. And I’ve finally accepted that I’m never going to be rid of them completely. So, instead I’ve learnt how to deal with them. Sometimes, when the doubts start to niggle at me, and I feel like giving up, it’s because I’m worn out. I push myself and push myself, and sometimes I have to stop. If the doubts come and I’m exhausted, then I STOP. Stop everything that isn't essential (i.e.. feeding the girls) and just rest for a couple of days. We can escape negativity if we give ourselves the permission to do so. Acknowledge the lesson and then reset.

Other than that, the best tool I have is positive self talk. If that little voice starts up that I’m not good enough, asking me why I’m bothering, then I consciously repeat to myself over and over something positive – maybe, I AM GOOD ENOUGH, or I AM JUST AS GOOD AS EVERYONE ELSE, you get the idea – swapping the negative for a positive. Repeated over and over and it does start to sink in! Plus I think that by not allowing myself to dwell on those negative thoughts helps. Some times I’ll write them down, then write a list of why that thought isn’t true.

I keep a gratitude journal too. Every single day I write down 3 things from that day that I am grateful for. It forces me to focus on the good things in my life instead of the negative. It’s all too easy to focus on the bad things, and to dwell on them, and let them become truth.

We can choose to let go of our stories of our pasts, if the thoughts don’t serve you well, then drop them.

And the most important thing to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Stop, relax and BREATHE.


8. What do you feel are your greatest achievements and why?
My girls (obviously), but most of all, overcoming the difficult start to life. My life up until I was 20 was incredibly traumatic, and I could so easily live out my life playing the ‘victim’ role. BUT I have managed to put all of that behind me, and turn my life right around. 9 years ago I couldn’t see any point in continuing living. There was no way forward and I didn’t want to carry on. Today I live a wonderful life, I have 3 beautiful daughters, I get to spend my days with them and running my own business.

Proving those who told me I was worthless and of no use wrong is in itself my greatest achievement.


9. Tell us what you think constitutes a "Super Woman" and list 3 key ingredients for success.
I think a “Super Woman” is someone who refuses to be beaten down by life. Someone who fights for what she believes in. Someone who doesn’t let the bad things rule her life. Someone who rights her own story and doesn’t care what others think. Someone who is strong and knows that she is good enough. Someone who most of all enjoys life.

My 3 key ingredients for success are:

• A positive attitude
• The ability to live in the moment
• Being able to find joy in simple things

10. Final words of wisdom?

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can find Polly over on her Blog, Facebook, Twitter & Etsy.

Do you know someone who fits the bill of Super Woman? Even yourself - don't be shy! If you would like to take part or recommend a friend, please send a message with the details to me at giveanearthly at gmail dot com. 

The Cat's Pyjamas

I have two joint obsessions at the moment: yoga and fashion design. And I rather think the two go hand in hand very well indeed! It's all about the body, and the amazing things we can do with it- I find the possibilities incredibly empowering and sensual, and that's without even thinking about the S word.


My new favourite person has to be the inimitable Gill Cockwell (a.k.a. Gilly Woo). Not that I normally hold with being hung up on celebrities in the slightest, but she's so, well, normal, and she fits right in with my joint fads of the moment. You see, she's not just a stupendous designer, she has real brains behind that there talent. She acknowledges the fashion industry is both "a bitch" and "a fairytale" but ultimitately it's up to us as individuals to recognise that and make our own minds up about how we want to look, feel and act: 

"I want people to accept, and make the very best of, the life they have instead of mourning for one they don’t. I want people, individuals, (not the fashion industry) to stop placing so much emphasis on how they look or what brand of handbag they carry or what generation their iphone is."

How can you not agree with such solid common sense? So whilst I was already in awe of Ms Woo for her sexy, sensuous and glamorous designs which mould to and hold every curve and feminine wile you may possess, I now find she holds a special place in my heart for being such a solid, down-to-earth thinker as well. I wish in reality we could all be so self-aware and self-confident though. For me that's where yoga comes into the equation. Bonkers it may seem, but through yoga you get to know and explore the possibilities of your own body intimately, and you learn to push yourself (gently of course), because through pushing yourself you see rapid achievements, both in body strength and tone, and in bodily confidence and poise. 


I've recently started to teach myself (with the aid of some excellent books) how to draw for fashion design. It's like a concentrated, fast-track, life-drawing class. Through exploration of the body's structure and make-up you quickly learn about proportion and how to create a realistic representation of the body from the inside out. It reminds me of a life-drawing course I did years ago at Edinburgh College of Art. I couldn't believe that at the end of the week I could actually draw something that looked like a real person and not a bad caricature!


I'm not getting as much time to spend on it as I'd like (have you tried sketching whilst looking after a 3 month old?) but I am enjoying the bits of time I can snatch at it, and otherwise thinking about what I might try next. And of course, for my models I have been using some yoga videos which enable me to explore all those muscle groups from a variety of angles and poses, whilst allowing me the freedom to draw from both stills and moving pictures. What better way to indulge my joint fads and to thoroughly appreciate the human form and its wonders all the more?


I thoroughly recommend a good old back-to-basics look at the human body in this way. It really makes you appreciate your own assets anew, in a different light. So whether you're wearing a baggy old jumper or a fabulous ensemble designed exclusively for you and your personality, you should always feel like the cat's pyjamas...